View source for Benson

:''Not to be confused with [[Barry B. Benson]].''
{{infobox character
| name       = Benson
| image      = File:Benson dummy.jpg
| imagewidth = 240px
| caption    = Benson
| born       = ca. 250 B.C.
| died       = ca. 2556
| title      = Disney's biggest ripoff since Lion King.
| gender     = Indeterminate
| race       = Dummy
| faction    = Gabby's gang
| health     = 0.001
| level      = 5 Thug
| status     = Dead
| location   = Second Chance Antiques (formerly)<br/>Ashina
| allies     = [[Carl Johnson]]<br/>[[Vito Corleone]]
| enemies    = [[Woody]]<br/>[[Mrs. Nesbitt]]<br/>[[Big Smoke]]<br/>[[Harry the Fly]]<br/>[[Kimi Räikkönen]]<br/>[[Genichiro]]
}}
{{Q|I had nothing to do with that son of a bitch.|Slappy on Benson}}
'''Benson''' is a ventriloquist dummy who happens to look a lot like [[Slappy]] from ''Goosebumps''. Except he is indeed Slappy's bastard cousin, hired by [[Pixar]] with reckless disregard for copyright despite its parent company being overzealous about it.

Benson and his near-identical peers exist for ''[[Imbecile|absolutely no reason]]'', apart from being a pack of subservient enforcers for local crime boss [[Gabby Gabby|Gabrielle "Big Gabby" Vespucci]], who ran a protection racket using an antique store as a front for their illegal operations. Gabby appears to be rather confused about his name, occasionally calling him Binson or Vincent especially when his employer is drunk. He once tried starting a union inside the antique store, but none of its denizens expressed interest. He also moonlighted as a rally driver under the pseudonym "[[Ken Block]]".

Prior to his career as a dummy, Benson had served as a shinobi bodyguard for some kid named Kuro, who for some reason possessed [[Warez|immortality]]. Years of mercilessly slaughtering low-rent clowns and feudal lords have taken a toll on Benson, hence why he eventually went back to the Tri-County area in search of work opportunities.

==Trivia==
*He was awarded "Sexiest Man of the Year" by ''Sports Illustrated'', beating both Woody and [[Darth Vader]].
*He is not related to Slappy in any way.
*Contrary to popular belief, he does not like jazz.
*Is known to smoke the finest catnip in all of New Jersey.
*Is known to have a fierce rivalry with [[Mrs. Nesbitt]].

[[Category:Imbeciles]]
[[Category:Ninjas]]
[[Category:People who commit antics]]
[[Category:Vegetables]]