Benson: Difference between revisions

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:''Not to be confused with [[Barry B. Benson]].''

{{infobox character

| name = Benson

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| race = Dummy

| faction = Gabby's gang

| health = 69

| health = 0.001

| level = 5 Thug

| status = Dead

| location = Second Chance Antiques

| location = Second Chance Antiques (formerly) Ashina

| allies = [[Carl Johnson]]

| allies = [[Carl Johnson]] [[Vito Corleone]]

| enemies = [[Woody]] [[Mrs. Nesbitt]] [[Big Smoke]]

| enemies = [[Woody]] [[Mrs. Nesbitt]] [[Big Smoke]] [[Harry the Fly]] [[Kimi Räikkönen]] [[Genichiro]]

}}

{{Q|I had nothing to do with that son of a bitch.|Slappy on Benson}}

'''Benson''' is a ventriloquist dummy who happens to look a lot like [[Slappy]] from ''Goosebumps''. Except he is indeed Slappy's bastard cousin, hired by [[Pixar]] with reckless disregard for copyright despite its parent company being overzealous about it.

Benson and his near-identical peers exist for absolutely no reason, apart from being a pack of subservient enforcers for local crime boss [[Gabby Gabby|Gabrielle "Big Gabby" Vespucci]], who ran a protection racket using an antique store as a front for their illegal operations. Gabby appears to be rather confused about his name, occasionally calling him Binson or Vincent especially when his employer is drunk. He once tried starting a union inside the antique store, but none of its denizens expressed interest. He also moonlighted as a rally driver under the pseudonym "Ken Block".

Benson and his near-identical peers exist for ''[[Imbecile|absolutely no reason]]'', apart from being a pack of subservient enforcers for local crime boss [[Gabby Gabby|Gabrielle "Big Gabby" Vespucci]], who ran a protection racket using an antique store as a front for their illegal operations. Gabby appears to be rather confused about his name, occasionally calling him Binson or Vincent especially when his employer is drunk. He once tried starting a union inside the antique store, but none of its denizens expressed interest. He also moonlighted as a rally driver under the pseudonym "[[Ken Block]]".

Prior to his career as a dummy, Benson had served as a shinobi bodyguard for some kid named Kuro, who for some reason possessed [[Warez|immortality]]. Years of mercilessly slaughtering low-rent clowns and feudal lords have taken a toll on Benson, hence why he eventually went back to the Tri-County area in search of work opportunities.

==Trivia==

*He was awarded "Sexiest Man of the Year" by ''Sports Illustrated'', beating both Woody and [[Darth Vader]].

*He is not related to Slappy in any way.

*Contrary to popular belief, he does not like jazz.

*Is known to smoke the finest catnip in all of New Jersey.

*Is known to have a fierce rivalry with [[Mrs. Nesbitt]].

[[Category:Ninjas]]

[[Category:People who commit antics]]

[[Category:Vegetables]]

~~[[Category:Imbeciles]]~~

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
+:''Not to be confused with [[Barry B. Benson]].''
 {{infobox character
 | name       = Benson
@@ Line 10: / Line 11: @@
 | race       = Dummy
 | faction    = Gabby's gang
-| health     = 69
+| health     = 0.001
 | level      = 5 Thug
 | status     = Dead
-| location   = Second Chance Antiques
+| location   = Second Chance Antiques (formerly)<br/>Ashina
-| allies     = [[Carl Johnson]]
+| allies     = [[Carl Johnson]]<br/>[[Vito Corleone]]
-| enemies    = [[Woody]]<br/>[[Mrs. Nesbitt]]<br/>[[Big Smoke]]
+| enemies    = [[Woody]]<br/>[[Mrs. Nesbitt]]<br/>[[Big Smoke]]<br/>[[Harry the Fly]]<br/>[[Kimi Räikkönen]]<br/>[[Genichiro]]
 }}
 {{Q|I had nothing to do with that son of a bitch.|Slappy on Benson}}
 '''Benson''' is a ventriloquist dummy who happens to look a lot like [[Slappy]] from ''Goosebumps''. Except he is indeed Slappy's bastard cousin, hired by [[Pixar]] with reckless disregard for copyright despite its parent company being overzealous about it.
-Benson and his near-identical peers exist for absolutely no reason, apart from being a pack of subservient enforcers for local crime boss [[Gabby Gabby|Gabrielle "Big Gabby" Vespucci]], who ran a protection racket using an antique store as a front for their illegal operations. Gabby appears to be rather confused about his name, occasionally calling him Binson or Vincent especially when his employer is drunk. He once tried starting a union inside the antique store, but none of its denizens expressed interest. He also moonlighted as a rally driver under the pseudonym "Ken Block".
+Benson and his near-identical peers exist for ''[[Imbecile|absolutely no reason]]'', apart from being a pack of subservient enforcers for local crime boss [[Gabby Gabby|Gabrielle "Big Gabby" Vespucci]], who ran a protection racket using an antique store as a front for their illegal operations. Gabby appears to be rather confused about his name, occasionally calling him Binson or Vincent especially when his employer is drunk. He once tried starting a union inside the antique store, but none of its denizens expressed interest. He also moonlighted as a rally driver under the pseudonym "[[Ken Block]]".
+Prior to his career as a dummy, Benson had served as a shinobi bodyguard for some kid named Kuro, who for some reason possessed [[Warez|immortality]]. Years of mercilessly slaughtering low-rent clowns and feudal lords have taken a toll on Benson, hence why he eventually went back to the Tri-County area in search of work opportunities.
 ==Trivia==
 *He was awarded "Sexiest Man of the Year" by ''Sports Illustrated'', beating both Woody and [[Darth Vader]].
 *He is not related to Slappy in any way.
+*Contrary to popular belief, he does not like jazz.
 *Is known to smoke the finest catnip in all of New Jersey.
 *Is known to have a fierce rivalry with [[Mrs. Nesbitt]].
+[[Category:Ninjas]]
+[[Category:People who commit antics]]
 [[Category:Vegetables]]
-[[Category:Imbeciles]]