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Mary Poppins

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Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins
Vital statistics
Title The nanny herself.
Gender Female
Born ca. 420 B.C.
Died ?
Health Immortal
Level 69
Status Alive
Location London, England
Allies Herbert Alfred
The Banks children
Enemies Big Smoke
Kimi Räikkönen

“I made her even more famous, Pam, deal with it!”

~ Walt Disney on Mary Poppins

Mary Elizabeth Poppins, married name Mary Alfred, is an English governess, musician and professional skateboarder.

Poppins became best known for being the subject of a series of novels by P. L. Travers portraying her as an immortal magical nanny; in reality she was incredibly skilled at gaslighting children and scoffing at them upon being confronted, though it is hinted that she is indeed inhuman.

Prior to her career as a nanny, Poppins worked as a secretary in her native London and took up other odd jobs such as a messenger and switchboard operator. She also played as a bassist for various rock, metal and punk bands such as The Cure and The Faction. She also had a notable career in skateboarding where she nearly beat Tony Hawk in a vert contest.

Trivia

  • She likes rum punch, even inventing a nigh-deadly cocktail called lean.
  • Poppins speaks fluent English, French, Kotlin and x86 assembly.