Benson
- Not to be confused with Barry B. Benson.
Benson is a ventriloquist dummy who happens to look a lot like Slappy from Goosebumps. Except he is indeed Slappy's bastard cousin, hired by Pixar with reckless disregard for copyright despite its parent company being overzealous about it.
Benson | |
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Benson | |
Vital statistics | |
Title | Disney's biggest ripoff since Lion King. |
Gender | Indeterminate |
Born | ca. 250 B.C. |
Died | ca. 2556 |
Health | 0.001 |
Level | 5 Thug |
Status | Dead |
Location | Second Chance Antiques |
Allies | Carl Johnson |
Enemies | Woody Mrs. Nesbitt Big Smoke Harry the Fly Kimi Räikkönen |
“I had nothing to do with that son of a bitch.”
Benson and his near-identical peers exist for absolutely no reason, apart from being a pack of subservient enforcers for local crime boss Gabrielle "Big Gabby" Vespucci, who ran a protection racket using an antique store as a front for their illegal operations. Gabby appears to be rather confused about his name, occasionally calling him Binson or Vincent especially when his employer is drunk. He once tried starting a union inside the antique store, but none of its denizens expressed interest. He also moonlighted as a rally driver under the pseudonym "Ken Block".
Trivia
- He was awarded "Sexiest Man of the Year" by Sports Illustrated, beating both Woody and Darth Vader.
- He is not related to Slappy in any way.
- Contrary to popular belief, he does not like jazz.
- Is known to smoke the finest catnip in all of New Jersey.
- Is known to have a fierce rivalry with Mrs. Nesbitt.