Benson
- Not to be confused with Barry B. Benson.
Benson is a ventriloquist dummy who happens to look a lot like Slappy from Goosebumps. Except he is indeed Slappy's bastard cousin, hired by Pixar with reckless disregard for copyright despite its parent company being overzealous about it.
| Benson | |
|---|---|
 Benson | |
| Vital statistics | |
| Title | Disney's biggest ripoff since Lion King. |
| Gender | Indeterminate |
| Born | ca. 250 B.C. |
| Died | ca. 2556 |
| Health | 0.001 |
| Level | 5 Thug |
| Status | Dead |
| Location | Second Chance Antiques (formerly) Ashina |
| Allies | Carl Johnson Vito Corleone |
| Enemies | Woody Mrs. Nesbitt Big Smoke Harry the Fly Kimi Räikkönen Genichiro |
“I had nothing to do with that son of a bitch.”
Benson and his near-identical peers exist for absolutely no reason, apart from being a pack of subservient enforcers for local crime boss Gabrielle "Big Gabby" Vespucci, who ran a protection racket using an antique store as a front for their illegal operations. Gabby appears to be rather confused about his name, occasionally calling him Binson or Vincent especially when his employer is drunk. He once tried starting a union inside the antique store, but none of its denizens expressed interest. He also moonlighted as a rally driver under the pseudonym "Ken Block".
Prior to his career as a dummy, Benson had served as a shinobi bodyguard for some kid named Kuro, who for some reason possessed immortality. Years of mercilessly slaughtering low-rent clowns and feudal lords have taken a toll on Benson, hence why he eventually went back to the Tri-County area in search of work opportunities.
Trivia edit
- He was awarded "Sexiest Man of the Year" by Sports Illustrated, beating both Woody and Darth Vader.
- He is not related to Slappy in any way.
- Contrary to popular belief, he does not like jazz.
- Is known to smoke the finest catnip in all of New Jersey.
- Is known to have a fierce rivalry with Mrs. Nesbitt.