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Huck's Wiki:Donations

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We need funds for the site. Srsly.

If you are reading this wiki, then chances are, you are probably a fan, follower, or arch nemesis of Count Olaf or Leonidas of Sparta. Since you are so interested in Count Olaf and King Leonidas, you may or may not be aware that they are in need of funds to continue their adventures and conquests. In their desperate need for funds, they have written two personal appeals, which I will attach below for the reader's convenience.

Personal Appeal of Count Olaf

Hello, my fans and followers! I am sure that you have seen all me in all of my roles, including my most recent appearance in The Marvelous Marriage. Some of my nemeses have launched an intricate plot to steal my well-deserved money from me so that I may no longer carry out my profession as an actor. These plots vary, but they tend to include a writer under the pseudonym of Lemony Snicket, who takes great fancy in spinning yarns about how I disguise myself as various colorful characters in an attempt to steal a fortune from the Baudelaire orphans. I can assure you, reader, that this story is entirely false, save for the part detailing my financial disabilities. You have, undoubtedly, read about the state of my home, and I am sorry to say these descriptions are, indeed, true. Thus, I ask you, dear reader, to contribute a small donation so that I may continue out my profession as an actor buying disguises costumes for my various roles. Thank you for your consideration on this manner, and I hope that you will donate so that you can see me in my next role, Sally Gregory in the theater version of Tower of Terror.

- Your good friend Count Olaf

Personal Appeal of King Leonidas

When you saw that donation banner, you probably thought to yourself, "This is madness!". However, I can assure you that this is NOT madness, but SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! If you do not surrender your money to me, I shall have you kicked in the chest so that you conveniently fall into the Pit of DOOM. And no, you don't get to play Doom when you fall through the pit. Instead, you fall forever, without food, water, entertainment, or strippers/Sally Shine. You shall die of starvation, thirst, boredom, or lack of youthful actresses/strippers with blonde curls. Now, I am certain that you are saying "No man threatens a citizen of the internet!", but you have exploited this site, sucking up its bandwidth, as well as taunted me with your comments on the so called internet meme featuring me. No, I have chosen my words carefully. Henceforth, I hereby DEMAND that you provide funds to maintain this site, provide strippers for me, and provide funds for Sparta's war with Persia. Our army has no need for food, for tonight we dine IN HELL!

- King Leonidas of Sparta